I have chanced a look at the TV guide thingy on the TV for Saturday morning cartoons. Seems to be a thing of the past, when all three major networks played cartoon after cartoon and then some serials until Saturday morning glided into afternoon baseball games.

I watched the cartoons and I liked them. I was around when Heckle and Jeckle reigned supreme, Top Cat was struttin’, and Mighty Mouse was saving the day. There was Popeye lovin’ up on Olive Oyl and whuppin’ up on Bluto. Then I think there were some stupid little kid’s cartoons my sister always wanted to watch.

Then it was a round of drama and “real-world” adventure with Sky King. Then, if I remember right, I’d change the channel for a half-hour Western adventure with Dale and Roy Rogers and his fine Palomino Trigger, (who I think Roy had stuffed. Of course, that could be fake news, we didn’t have Snopes then, and now it doesn’t matter, I already know what I know). It wasn’t a real Western like The Lone Ranger. Roy’s sidekick, Pat Brady drove around in an old Jeep named Nellybelle. And what was interesting to me on that show is all the characters were themselves. You know, like in real life.

The Lone Ranger hunted down bad guys in black hats. I knew the bad guys wore black hats. I never could figure out why all those people back in those days didn’t catch that until it was too late and the bank was already robbed. And Tonto rescued the good ranger in every show I think. The Lone Ranger was a real go-getter and got himself into serious messes every week.

And the Rifleman. Yes, he was a hero of mine. Baddest of the baddest with his custom quick-trigger automatic assault weapon saving town from the ride by shooters and bank robbers. Lucas always made sure his son, Mark, was safe, taught him how to ride, start a campfire, and shoot a tin can from a hundred yards. Micah, the town Sherrif, was a teetotaler ex-drunk.

And good ole Dennis the Menace, running roughshod over old man Mr. Wilson. Dennis was awesome. I went to an appearance of his in Denver. I made my mom drag me out to see him. I don’t think he did anything, just was there among the throngs of kids who wanted to see him. After that was over I really didn’t get it. Why did I go, what did I see, where have I gone wrong, and finally, what is the point in “personal appearances?”

I think maybe for a while Leave it to Beaver was on, but mostly I remember the Beave and Wally from afternoon TV after school affairs. And that show was on daily through the week. Got to know the Beave well. Always in trouble, dumb kid, and Wally always rescued him and didn’t tell Mom and Dad on him. It was usually Eddie Haskel who screwed the pooch.

Our TV didn’t get tall of the channels, so I missed a few that other kids saw. In fact, I never saw Hoss, Adam, Little Joe, and Ben until they had re-runs years later. I have stunted growth, I’m sure, for growing up with a malfunctioning TV. I’d see a little glimpse of “real-world” TV if I spent the night at a friend’s who lived in the luxury of a color TV that got all the channels.

And the highlight for me for Saturday TV fare was American Bandstand. Dick Clark brought it! All the newest bands, all the cool kids dancing, and the girls, girls, girls. Glad we got that channel, otherwise I may have never learned how to play music. I learned the importance of being a guitar player if I wanted to have girls around all the time. Should have been a stamp collector for all the good it did me.

Then it was outside until dark, maybe stop in the see the baseball score or if it was the Yankees, I was there. I mean there. The Mick, Roger, “home run king” Maris, Elston Howard, Bobby Richardson, Tony Kubek, Whitey Ford, Mel Stottlemyer, and of course hippie Joe Pepitone and his long hair pieces playing on first, all made the world real for me.

It’s different now for kids, which, I’m sure is a good thing. There is no mouse around to take out the bank robbers, and Roy Rogers stuffed his horse. Who does that??